why hollywood sucks: shim recommends the real green hornet

i seriously love me some old time radio shows from the 30’s and 40’s. especially, golden classics such as dragnet, sam spade, lights out and the green hornet. so imagine my dismay when, researching a few points for this post, i was only to find that *cough* hollywood is poised to ruin yet another classic. fucking hell, they cast that half-witted fatty seth rogen and talent-free cameron diaz in one of the greatest old timey radio classics?!??!?! FUUUUUUCK!!!!

this is worse than tobey maguire as peter parker, fucking edward snore-ton as bruce banner or (god fucking forbid) nicholas spare-change-cage as superman… hey, nicky, i don’t give a sweet fuck that your uncle is scorsese; you most certainly tarnish, pollute and dilute every single movie you are in and you fucking blow dead bears, son.

this was the real shizzle. no additives and no preservatives. as my anti-venom to this latest hollywood poison, i recommend a healthy dose of:

here we have an excellent 6 disc set from the mid 40’s, and although i haven’t heard the later stuff, this set rocks. grab your fav intoxicant, dim the lights and spend some quality time with britt reid, millionaire playboy and newspaper publisher by day and kicking scumbag butt by night.

i mean, this character was the great-nephew of the lone freaking ranger, yo!! and the awesome 60’s tv series had BRUCE LEE as the hornet’s sidekick kato, and the star, van williams, was (according to my wife) a “total hunk.” here’s a side-by-side photo comparison for ya:

c’mon, seth rogen?!?! i think not. that’s like nickelback starring in a bob dylan biopic. this shit is almost worthy of a south park parody, but i still want to cry out my ass. what’s next, jake gyllenhaal as the prince of persia? oh, wait…

like john lennon said, imagine a world that hollywood didn’t ruin.

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